The Ocean

I tear at my ears, trying to find the cotton.  Only my cool skin, touches my finger tips.  Nothing's there.  The sound of the ocean drowns out everything. I look around, trying to figure out why I hear the ocean.  But I'm not on a beach. I'm at home, in my bed. But all I hear is the distance roar of the ocean.
Oh no. My worse fear realized.
I yell out a cry for help, but I don't hear anything but that blasted ocean. Holding my hands to my throat, I yell again.
Yes, I am actually yelling. I can feel the vibrations of my voice in my throat. I snap my fingers next to my ears. Nothing. I swallow, trying to clear whatever is stuck in my ears.  But still, no sounds
My husband comes running into the room, his lips moving. I shake my head and try to tell him that I can't hear him.  I'm not sure if my words come out right because he looks at me quizzically.
Slowly, his mouth forms the words.
There was an accident...
And the world slowly tips on its side.
Never again will I hear my love's voice.
Never will I hear my children's voices.
Never again will I hear music.
Never again will I dance.



(A random creative writing blurb.  This stems from my persistent, yet slow deterioration of my hearing and the fear that one day I'll wake and it will be gone completely.  This is what happens when I stay up late...I'm creative!)

Listen

Ever feel like you're shouting
To an apathetic world?
People pass
But none listen.
Your voice is raw
Emotion filled.
Surrounded by many
Yet heard by none.
Scream from the mountains
Whimper from the dark.
No one cares
No one listens.

Endings

I never saw the end,
An unexpected halt of motion
As I slammed against the wall.
Rejection, like a poison,
Filled my mouth.
I thought it would last forever.
Finally someone who understood,
A kindred spirit.
I must be blind.
Maybe there were signs,
Warning of impending doom.
"Stop!" "End of road!"
I never saw these.
I only saw
The eyes of my love.
Now those eyes
Haunt me,
Eyes of the betrayer.
Can I ever see the world
in the same light?
Will it ever be easy?
Learning to trust.
But I must move,
Must continue on this journey.
Perhaps I'll find another explorer.

Train Wreck

I watched the train crash into oblivion.
I didn't know who to scream at
The driver or the passenger.
So I mutely stood by.
I cried at the decimation
but hoped that no one else got hurt.
But somehow a piece of metal
Reached out and tore at me.
Some screamed out,
"Why didn't you say anything?"
I don't know why,
I was transfixed
by the terrible beauty of it.
Mesmerized and silenced
by the awfulness to come.
Maybe I thought it would go quiet
and they would see
the silver lining in the hurricane.
I didn't anticipate the chaos,
the pain, the lost love
and the anger.
Maybe next time
I'll speak up when I see the end,
Say, "Get off before it's too late."
But maybe not,
I hope I never see
A train wreck again.